Dear Mr Troll

As some of you may be aware, I've been having a little problem recently with some rather offensive posts on my facebook status, on the subject of "domestic violence and how some women get off on it". Said posts have now been deleted, and said person de-friended. After that, I wrote a letter - not necessarily to send to the person involved, (though I still might do that) but as a sort of form-letter to send to all future trolls, annoyances, MRAs, and other people whom I have just had to give up on for one reason or another; usually because I lack the time or the sanity.

Please, if you are having a similar problem with trolls and the like, and do not want to waste the energy on them, then please feel free to copy and edit this letter as best fits. Then you can get back to whatever else you were doing, which was almost certainly far more important.

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Dear Mr Troll,

We all hate losing arguments. Especially when we are so sure that we are right, and the other person is wrong, but when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object, either something has got to give, or people are going to just get hurt and upset.

As it is, I think our argument is getting nowhere, and I do not have the time or sanity to spare to continue it, nor to put up with the personal attacks leveled at me, which have nothing to do with the argument in hand.

It is obvious that I am never going to change your mind over this, since you have demonstrated repeatedly that you either do not understand, or do not care about my opinions. From what I can see, you have made no effort to see things from my point of view, or even contemplate the possibility that other people's opinions might be as valid, or even more so than your own.

I have tried to explain why your argument is unsound, insulting, and quite possibly dangerous, but still you keep insiting upon it, as if repetition would make it true. I have provided you with sources which will explain again, in a more comprehensive and eloquent fashion than I can. And I now feel that I must leave it up to them to continue where I find I am forced to leave off - not because I conceed defeat, but because it is increasingly obvious to me that you will not, and I do not wish to spend the time fighting a lost cause. If you truly want to learn and debate this topic, then please return to those sources, read until you fully understand the position, then come back and talk to me about it.

While I would love to think that the force of my (and their) argument is enough to make you challenge some of your preconceptions, go away and reassess your position on this issue, I do not hold out much hope.

I don't particularly care about "winning" or proving a point. I merely want to help people to understand. You either don't or won't. And I have better things to be doing than trying to help someone who is more focused on the winning. I am now going to go off and do them.


Yours, unapologetically,

Ms Teabag.